Nate Berkus is My Sugar Daddy

Let me preface this by saying, I used to think Nate Berkus was my boyfriend. I was wrong. Nate Berkus is my Sugar Daddy.

In July, on a day that was hotter than the Hot Place none of us wants to end up in, my friend Kim and I went to an estate auction. Outside. In Kansas. It was approximately 425 degrees outside and miserable.

But the furniture was so cheeeeep that I thought that it may be worth the possibility of my children being raised by a single father if I didn't make it out alive. It's ok, he's a good Dad.

While I was waiting for the auctioneer to auction off the mile long table of glass and other things I unfortunately know nothing about, I met Mildred, she was 74 and sweet. We sat on a broken couch and talked about nothing and Nate Berkus. In Nate, we had common ground and a mutual love. She loves his fashion and bargain hunting tips and I love his furniture makeovers.

I also love that he provides for me. I can't tell you how many jobs I have done that have begun with the words "On the Nate Berkus Show...." I just kind of love him.

I told Mildred that Nate was my boyfriend, that he comes over 5 times a week for an hour. She kindly explained to me that he was not my boyfriend, he was my Sugar Daddy. If he was my boyfriend, I could see him anytime and call him whenever I wished.  A Sugar Daddy comes over much less often and provides for you financially.

 Being a nice Christian girl, a Pastor's Daughter no less, I have never had a Sugar Daddy before. I think I like it. Thanks Mildred.

It was at this relationship defining auction that I bought this table for $5.00. Five Dollars! See why I stayed? The coolest thing about this table is that the center section SPINS!

The least cool thing about this table is that it weighs at least a million pounds. It took 4 of us to load it into the back of my van. I think I might take it apart, there may be gold bricks inside.

My husband decided that we should keep this one, it spins, it is dude furniture. Since I knew it was staying, I decided to play a little more than I might if I was selling it. The look I was going for was Grungy French "Found-in-an-old-French-barn-after-a-fire".

The best choice I have ever made, (aka My Husband), chose the Annie Sloan colors Olive and Arles. I have had an unopened can of Arles sitting on my shelf for a few months waiting for the right piece, today was the big day. I opened it and it looked like, well, it looked like snot.

Something was seriously wrong with this paint, I shook it up and even stirred it with a shim (my favorite stirring stick) and it was still watery. In a flash of brilliance, I thought maybe I could speed up the thickening process by microwaving it, in a microwave safe bowl of course! Not really brilliant after all. It was just hot and drippy.

I wiped it off and started again with ASCP Cream. A little tame, but it could work.

Because it was a little lighter than I was going for, I dry brushed a little of the watery Arles over it and squirted it with a water bottle and rubbed and blotted it until it was aged looking and darker.

Most of the time, I hand sand because it is a finer finish to me, but for this one, I busted out my palm sander with a 220 grit sanding pad. When I am working with an electric sander, it definitely takes more of the paint off, exposing the wood underneath.

Because I don't always follow Annie Sloan's rules and use wax, I used a water based urethane to finish it and then glazed it with Valspar's Asphaultum glaze and re-coated with urethane twice because I know where this piece will live. It will thank me later!

 So here she is in all of her "Found-in-an-old-French-barn-after-a-fire" glory. A little crazy looking, but she fits in here.

And here are the socks my son stashed on the other side. Just keepin it real.

And thank you Nate Berkus, for being my Sugar Daddy and not my boyfriend. I think this could work.


I am linking to these parties:

Miss Mustard Seed Furniture Feature Friday

Primitive and Proper

Perfectly Imperfect

Nifty Thrifty Thursdays

Restored it Wednesday

Beneath My Heart

Funky Junk Interiors SNS

Between naps on the porch

Friday Redoux

Wow Us Wednesdays Pin It